Monday, August 29, 2011

Going Against the Flow

I got this via email this morning... I instantly felt that I should repost it to FB. Decades ago God called me to stand in a place that was unknown to me, at the time. Young, full of faith and power, I answered the call.  My peers thought I had gone insane, and attributed my physical disabilities to being out of Gods will. It didn't take long for me to figure out that if not for the injuries, and the place they took me, I could not get to where God really wanted me. Is it tough at times, you better believe it is.  But it was the only way I could safely get outside the box and touch the forgotten. Anyway, here is the morning devotional from Os ... can you relate?
Going Against the Flow
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1 by Os Hillman
Monday, August 29 2011

"But the whole assembly talked about stoning them." Numbers 14:10a

Have you ever had to stand up against the majority for a cause that wasn't popular? God brought the Israelites out of Egypt and promised He would lead them into a land of milk and honey. The process of moving out of Egypt was difficult. They could no longer do things the old way, for the old ways didn't work in the desert. God provided for them during this journey. But there came a point in which the people forgot what God had said. Their discomfort changed their belief about God.

Whenever God is slow to answer our prayers, what we believe about God is revealed. Do we change our plans and move in a different direction when pressure mounts? Or do we continue on the path God has directed for us? Four men believed what God said and were willing to stand; however, the crowd wanted to stone them.

Then Moses and Aaron fell face-down in front of the whole Israelite assembly gathered there. Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh, who were among those who had explored the land, tore their clothes and said to the entire Israelite assembly, "The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good. If the Lord is pleased with us, He will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us. Only do not rebel against the Lord. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will swallow them up. Their protection is gone, but the Lord is with us. Do not be afraid of them." But the whole assembly talked about stoning them. Then the glory of the Lord appeared at the Tent of Meeting to all the Israelites (Numbers 14:5-10).

Notice Joshua and Caleb's response to the situation. They had spied the land. They believed God. They challenged the crowd. They seemed to know that if the Lord was not pleased with them they would not enter into the Promised Land. Those who grumbled did not enter the Promised Land. Only Joshua and Caleb and a new generation saw the fulfillment of God's promise.

Has God called you to stand for a cause bigger than yourself? You will have opposition to His call; sometimes it even comes from those in your own camp. But if God has called you, then you can be sure He will make a way. He has already opened the way before you. But you must walk in faith, joined with Him to take the land. "...Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go" (Joshua 1:9).


Tuesday, August 23, 2011

A Little Bit About Greg

Okay, I will put it in writing, though I have always said I wouldn't... But It will be easier to point at this blog than to tell it over and over again.  I'll be 55 in a few days... and hopes of ever being in a relationship have faded away.  I've been told over and over to not post or tell anyone I'm disabled as long as I can cover it up... especially if I ever hoped I would date again. But what the heck... here is a brief overview.  So I will just let it flow out... here we go! 

Over and over, my entire life, I begged God for a single profession. So I could establish an identity. So when people asked I could say.. I'm a carpenter... or a program coordinator... But no, every time I tried to lock into a profession, something would happen and I was into something new. Maintenance and remodeling worked good because I could use a multitude of gifts and talents all at once... then the accident... and bingo !  

NOW.... I'm into the computer and the internet. Just as my web business started taking off... BINGO!  Heart attack... then infection... boom.. another heart attack... open heart surgery... another infection... just as I'm starting to feel better BINGO!

Cut cut cut ... I loose half my colon to what they thought was cancer. And something happened to my leg along the way, and I now need a mobility scooter. All this since 2007... and the kids club is now gone, the computer lab gone, my website business.. POOF! gone.  

And Here we go again...

I'm not even counting the 9 surgeries I had before 2006... and the unidentifiable auto immune disorder. Yet, the CAT scans and tests, say I'm doing pretty darn good; and I'm not even on any heart meds anymore. Never did have high blood presure, or any of the usual heart stuff that tends to bring on an attack. 

I live it pain everyday. My skeletal structure, by bones, do not look real good on xrays. After I had put on 40lbs from the RA treatments I finally get into see a rheumatologist and I do not have RA... but I have Fibromyalgia and Polymyalgia ... Sucks Hey !   I still think the doctors just reach into a bag and pull out a name when they just don't know why your SED rate hovers between 60 and 90... and life hurts...

My life has been more like living four different lives in 10 year increments.  When change would come, it did so in a big way, completely changing everything.  Keeping me 100% dependent on God and his provisions.  Now it seems my creative side, poems, photography, writing... ect... just turned off. 

When I pray and ask God why I have to know so many things, he replies, "For a day that has not come yet..."  Thats it.. no details...  100% faith... in a day that has not come yet.  LOL.. Never imagine that God does not have a sense of humor. 

It feels really weird posting this... 


Sunday, August 14, 2011

We walked alone

We walk alone, my muse and I
In the twilight of any day.
The night birds keep their distance,           
     honoring my time to pray...

So alone am I,
No more human love,
Only my muse and I,         
     and visions from above.

My muse, my Lord
My only true friend.
Hear my heart, my Words;              
     I am lonely again.

Silent is my world,
The children's laughter has died.
It was another season in my life,       
     another season I cried...

My hope is in another day,
A season ... brand new
Another season to fight,
     another season with you...

We walk alone,
In the twilight of the day.
The night birds brought me comfort,           
     as I walked this path and prayed.

Comfort me my friend,
In the darkness of this night,
This old warrior is tired;           
           the birds have taken flight...