Tuesday, August 23, 2011

A Little Bit About Greg

Okay, I will put it in writing, though I have always said I wouldn't... But It will be easier to point at this blog than to tell it over and over again.  I'll be 55 in a few days... and hopes of ever being in a relationship have faded away.  I've been told over and over to not post or tell anyone I'm disabled as long as I can cover it up... especially if I ever hoped I would date again. But what the heck... here is a brief overview.  So I will just let it flow out... here we go! 

Over and over, my entire life, I begged God for a single profession. So I could establish an identity. So when people asked I could say.. I'm a carpenter... or a program coordinator... But no, every time I tried to lock into a profession, something would happen and I was into something new. Maintenance and remodeling worked good because I could use a multitude of gifts and talents all at once... then the accident... and bingo !  

NOW.... I'm into the computer and the internet. Just as my web business started taking off... BINGO!  Heart attack... then infection... boom.. another heart attack... open heart surgery... another infection... just as I'm starting to feel better BINGO!

Cut cut cut ... I loose half my colon to what they thought was cancer. And something happened to my leg along the way, and I now need a mobility scooter. All this since 2007... and the kids club is now gone, the computer lab gone, my website business.. POOF! gone.  

And Here we go again...

I'm not even counting the 9 surgeries I had before 2006... and the unidentifiable auto immune disorder. Yet, the CAT scans and tests, say I'm doing pretty darn good; and I'm not even on any heart meds anymore. Never did have high blood presure, or any of the usual heart stuff that tends to bring on an attack. 

I live it pain everyday. My skeletal structure, by bones, do not look real good on xrays. After I had put on 40lbs from the RA treatments I finally get into see a rheumatologist and I do not have RA... but I have Fibromyalgia and Polymyalgia ... Sucks Hey !   I still think the doctors just reach into a bag and pull out a name when they just don't know why your SED rate hovers between 60 and 90... and life hurts...

My life has been more like living four different lives in 10 year increments.  When change would come, it did so in a big way, completely changing everything.  Keeping me 100% dependent on God and his provisions.  Now it seems my creative side, poems, photography, writing... ect... just turned off. 

When I pray and ask God why I have to know so many things, he replies, "For a day that has not come yet..."  Thats it.. no details...  100% faith... in a day that has not come yet.  LOL.. Never imagine that God does not have a sense of humor. 

It feels really weird posting this... 


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